Disagreements



It is inevitable that someone with whom you care about, work with, do business with, etc., will say, do, or behave in a way that you might disagree. Think of this disagreement as an interesting challenge or as an opportunity to learn something about other people. This opportunity might present new perceptions and observations that you might have otherwise missed. It doesn’t mean that you “have to agree” with the other person, it just means taking a step outside your normal range of reaction/behavior and selecting a different course of relating.

STAY CALM.

There are at least two reasons why it is best to remain neutral when disagreeing with someone:

  • You can easily lose your composure and ability to think “straight”. Instead, you will find yourself reacting and perhaps saying words and/or behaving irrationally. The situation will escalate.



  • Escalation of the disagreement will create defensiveness (and an innate need for the other person to “protect” themselves), creating an increase in anger. This will raise the ante that there will be an argument where nothing will be satisfactorily resolved. Instead, stop what you’re saying, think about the situation, and listen to what you’re feeling/hearing/projecting. Avoid reacting to the fact that someone disagrees with you; instead respect that person’s right to have their own point of view, despite how it may conflict with yours. Use this as an opportunity to “explore” your own feelings and reactions as well as really trying to “hear” what the person is saying. Maybe even agree to disagree!

    This information is not to be used for treatment, diagnoses, or any other means other than that of informing the reader of basic on the above issue.